1)Why is an accountant never alone?
They always have a accrue
2) Why don't accountants write movie scripts?
There is always a GAAP in their stories
3) How do people fall in love with accounting?
It is love at IFRS sight
4) What did the umpire say to an accountant walked during a baseball game?
Take your basis.
5) Which financial statement is hard to keep stable?
6) What is the preferred method of transportation for IRS employees?
They prefer a TAX-i
7) How do you know when a tax accountant is talking on a CB radio?
When you hear 1040 good buddy.
8) Why do accountants need two front doors?
Double Entry Accounting
9) What is an ideal name for a band made up of payroll accountants?
10) What do you say to fixed assets that feel left out?
I depreciate you
11) What is the best way to get raw material inventory healthy?
WIP it into shape!
12) What would Fonzie say about crypto backed digital assets?
They are NFT-ty
13) What do accountants like to put on their toast?
14) Why are fixed assets never late?
They stick to their depreciation schedule
15) Where do accountants go when it is raining?
A Tax Shelter
16) Where do a large part of airline companies’ costs come from?
17) Why do accountants love going to the gym?
They love working on their fiscal fitness
18) Why is sponge manufacturing so profitable?
Because so many of the manufacturing costs get absorbed.
19) What is the favorite movie of merger & acquisition professionals?
20) What budgeting method do tire manufacturers prefer?
21) What budgeting method do yoga studios prefer?
22) Why couldn't the accountant find their crypto wallet?
It had gone into the ether-eum
23) Why did companies’ sales invoices appear in a police lineup?
They were working on revenue recognition
24) Why is rules-based accounting so popular in London?
They always mind the GAAP
25) What race is popular with Securities and Exchange Commission Employees?
They love the 10-K
26) How do accountants keep from getting locked out?
They carry a spare 10-key
27) What business structure do pirates prefer?
28) Why are skyscrapers so expensive to build?
There is so much overhead
29) Why are water parks so popular with investors?
The assets are liquid
30) How should a company classify its investment in boats?
31) What happened to the ice cream companies’ assets when it shut down?
They were liquidated
32) What financial steps should be taken when shutting down a vineyard?
The accountants must wine down operations.
33) How did the Controller and Banker get past their argument?
The reconciled their differences.
34) What kid's game do auditors love to play?
Hide and seek
35) Why was the auditor concerned when a chef was hired in the accounting department?
The auditor was afraid of the chef cooking the books.
36) Why was the auditor concerned when a massage therapist was hired in the accounting department?
The auditor was afraid of the therapist massaging the numbers.
37) What made the CFO's sports car lose value so fast?
38) How much was the golf companies stock worth?
39) What happens when police officers need help on their W-4 form?
They call for backup withholding
40) What type of debt instruments are popular with wireless phone companies?
41) Why do many librarians love accounting?
They are good with bookkeeping.
42) Why did the investment analyst's software never get updated?
The analyst was so used to working with Beta.
43) Why do accountants always get hungry when talking about benefits/open enrollment?
Because they are discussing cafeteria plans.
44) What was the janitorial services company hoping for after their financial audit?
A clean opinion
45) What kind of stock is popular among car enthusiasts that live in warm climates?
46) What type of bond is popular with thrifty investors?
47) What kind of money ends up in landfills?
48) Where do accountants like to write down their thoughts and document their day?
49) What causes tires to expand and be more expensive?
50) What type of rule could be popular with boat owners?
Safe Harbor rule
51) What happens when a jewelry store finds the CPA firm that is perfect for them?
An Audit Engagement
52) Why was the accountant so glad to answer questions about ASC 842?
It was the lease they could do to help.
53) What part of the 10-K from a shoe company would contain the most helpful information?
54) Why was PTO so important for the accounting team?
It was a going concern.
55) What interest rates do boat manufacturers prefer?
A floating interest rate
56) What stock analysis charts are useful when the power goes out?
57) What exchange rate was popular with Long John Silver?
Pegged exchange rates
58) What classification do SUVs get when accountants can take them off roading?
Audit Trail Rated
59) What type of baked good do accountants serve?
60) Why are accountants so good with coordinating their outfits and accessories?
The matching principle
61) What makes it where proper nouns and names can be made profitable?
62) What happens when the microphone is on mute during an earnings call?
You must restate your financials
63) Why are accountants often friends with chiropractors?
Because they are both good with adjustments.
64) What type of accountant is best at playing hide and seek?
Auditors because of their findings
65) Why do accountants sometimes put their money in the freezer?
They love having cold hard cash
66) What is it called when a scary movie production company sells its accounts receivables?
67) Why are some accountants good at telling jokes?
Because funny accountants have cents of humor.
68) What ratio do farmers track when building their stock portfolio?
69) What type of financing is used when a group needs to buy equipment for their band?
70) Why was it so difficult to input the sales forecast into Excel?
It was a tough cell
71) What is an accounting leader for an RC toy company that works from home called?
72) Why do bakeries have to be cautious when generating their financials?
They need to make sure nobody fudged the numbers.
73) What do accountants and air traffic controllers have in common?
They both allocate overhead.
74) What service department cost allocation method is used when the elevator is broken?
75) What do accountants for fashion designers have to do at the end of each month?
The clothes process
76) Why did the duck get arrested for fraud?
They set up a Pondzi Scheme
77) What do you get when you give a frisbee to a bunch of accountants?
78) What tax form do dogs need to provide before they can be paid?
79) When do accountants have to slow down as they work on calculations for bonds?
When they calculate yield
80) What keeps a detective’s office in business?
81) What are the profits for movie theaters called after they move from the income statement to the balance sheet?
82) What happens when accountants are so eager to invest in cryptocurrency?
They are chomping at the bit-coin
83) What type of market exists when an investor loses their shirt from their trades?
A bare market
84) What did the accountant call their investment collection of highly valuable vinyl albums?
85) What happens when mortgage bankers take time to relax by themselves?
They get a loan time.
86) What type of debt do DJs use to buy turntables?
87) What is the top line on the income statement for cruise ship companies?
88) What shampoo do stock trading technical analysts use?
Head & Shoulders
89) Where do accountants for manufacturing companies go swimming?
90) What is a popular entree for fixed asset accountants?
MACRS & Cheese
91) Where do auditors for airline companies store their workpapers?
In the cloud
92) What type of option do investors prefer when trading telecommunication company stocks?
93) Why was it hard for the scissor manufacturer to fund capital expenditures?
The budget kept getting cut.
94) What happens when financial statements are left on the runway of a fashion show?
95) What do party stores have to pay at the end of their loans?
96) What happened when water spilled on the investor’s earnings statement?
97) What report do accountants for law firms update often?
Trial Balance Report
98) What is something accountants have an easier time explaining on their resume?
Accountants can easily explain the GAAP in their resume.
99) What is the ultimate party anthem for accountants?
FIFO Your Right to Party
100) What do the accountants of today owe the accountants that paved the way for them?
A Debit of Gratitude
101) How did accountants overcome arguments about blockchain?
They hashed out any differences.
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