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101 Accounting (Business) Jokes - Audit You Need for a Good Laugh

1)Why is an accountant never alone?

They always have a accrue


2) Why don't accountants write movie scripts?

There is always a GAAP in their stories


3) How do people fall in love with accounting?

It is love at IFRS sight




4) What did the umpire say to an accountant walked during a baseball game?

Take your basis.


5) Which financial statement is hard to keep stable?

Balance Sheet



6) What is the preferred method of transportation for IRS employees?

They prefer a TAX-i


7) How do you know when a tax accountant is talking on a CB radio?

When you hear 1040 good buddy.


8) Why do accountants need two front doors?

Double Entry Accounting


9) What is an ideal name for a band made up of payroll accountants?

The W-2s


10) What do you say to fixed assets that feel left out?

I depreciate you


11) What is the best way to get raw material inventory healthy?

WIP it into shape!


12) What would Fonzie say about crypto backed digital assets?

They are NFT-ty


13) What do accountants like to put on their toast?

Margin


14) Why are fixed assets never late?

They stick to their depreciation schedule


15) Where do accountants go when it is raining?

A Tax Shelter


16) Where do a large part of airline companies’ costs come from?

Overhead


17) Why do accountants love going to the gym?

They love working on their fiscal fitness


18) Why is sponge manufacturing so profitable?

Because so many of the manufacturing costs get absorbed.


19) What is the favorite movie of merger & acquisition professionals?

Goodwill Hunting


20) What budgeting method do tire manufacturers prefer?

Rolling budget


21) What budgeting method do yoga studios prefer?

Flexible budget


22) Why couldn't the accountant find their crypto wallet?

It had gone into the ether-eum


23) Why did companies’ sales invoices appear in a police lineup?

They were working on revenue recognition


24) Why is rules-based accounting so popular in London?

They always mind the GAAP


25) What race is popular with Securities and Exchange Commission Employees?

They love the 10-K


26) How do accountants keep from getting locked out?

They carry a spare 10-key


27) What business structure do pirates prefer?

Sea-Corp (C-Corporation)


28) Why are skyscrapers so expensive to build?

There is so much overhead


29) Why are water parks so popular with investors?

The assets are liquid


30) How should a company classify its investment in boats?

Available-for-sail


31) What happened to the ice cream companies’ assets when it shut down?

They were liquidated


32) What financial steps should be taken when shutting down a vineyard?

The accountants must wine down operations.


33) How did the Controller and Banker get past their argument?

The reconciled their differences.


34) What kid's game do auditors love to play?

Hide and seek


35) Why was the auditor concerned when a chef was hired in the accounting department?

The auditor was afraid of the chef cooking the books.


36) Why was the auditor concerned when a massage therapist was hired in the accounting department?

The auditor was afraid of the therapist massaging the numbers.


37) What made the CFO's sports car lose value so fast?

Accelerated depreciation


38) How much was the golf companies stock worth?

Par value


39) What happens when police officers need help on their W-4 form?

They call for backup withholding


40) What type of debt instruments are popular with wireless phone companies?

Callable bonds


41) Why do many librarians love accounting?

They are good with bookkeeping.


42) Why did the investment analyst's software never get updated?

The analyst was so used to working with Beta.


43) Why do accountants always get hungry when talking about benefits/open enrollment?

Because they are discussing cafeteria plans.


44) What was the janitorial services company hoping for after their financial audit?

A clean opinion


45) What kind of stock is popular among car enthusiasts that live in warm climates?

Convertible Stock


46) What type of bond is popular with thrifty investors?

Coupon bond


47) What kind of money ends up in landfills?

Disposable income


48) Where do accountants like to write down their thoughts and document their day?

General Journal


49) What causes tires to expand and be more expensive?

Inflation


50) What type of rule could be popular with boat owners?

Safe Harbor rule


51) What happens when a jewelry store finds the CPA firm that is perfect for them?

An Audit Engagement


52) Why was the accountant so glad to answer questions about ASC 842?

It was the lease they could do to help.


53) What part of the 10-K from a shoe company would contain the most helpful information?

The footnotes


54) Why was PTO so important for the accounting team?

It was a going concern.


55) What interest rates do boat manufacturers prefer?

A floating interest rate


56) What stock analysis charts are useful when the power goes out?

Candlestick charts


57) What exchange rate was popular with Long John Silver?

Pegged exchange rates


58) What classification do SUVs get when accountants can take them off roading?

Audit Trail Rated





59) What type of baked good do accountants serve?

Pay-rolls


60) Why are accountants so good with coordinating their outfits and accessories?

The matching principle


61) What makes it where proper nouns and names can be made profitable?

Capitalism


62) What happens when the microphone is on mute during an earnings call?

You must restate your financials


63) Why are accountants often friends with chiropractors?

Because they are both good with adjustments.


64) What type of accountant is best at playing hide and seek?

Auditors because of their findings


65) Why do accountants sometimes put their money in the freezer?

They love having cold hard cash


66) What is it called when a scary movie production company sells its accounts receivables?

Fear Factoring


67) Why are some accountants good at telling jokes?

Because funny accountants have cents of humor.


68) What ratio do farmers track when building their stock portfolio?

Plowback ratio


69) What type of financing is used when a group needs to buy equipment for their band?

Debt instruments


70) Why was it so difficult to input the sales forecast into Excel?

It was a tough cell


71) What is an accounting leader for an RC toy company that works from home called?

Remote Controller


72) Why do bakeries have to be cautious when generating their financials?

They need to make sure nobody fudged the numbers.


73) What do accountants and air traffic controllers have in common?

They both allocate overhead.


74) What service department cost allocation method is used when the elevator is broken?

Step-down method


75) What do accountants for fashion designers have to do at the end of each month?

The clothes process


76) Why did the duck get arrested for fraud?

They set up a Pondzi Scheme


77) What do you get when you give a frisbee to a bunch of accountants?

Ultimate FASB


78) What tax form do dogs need to provide before they can be paid?

A K-9


79) When do accountants have to slow down as they work on calculations for bonds?

When they calculate yield


80) What keeps a detective’s office in business?

Solve-ncy (Solvency)

81) What are the profits for movie theaters called after they move from the income statement to the balance sheet?

Entertained Earnings


82) What happens when accountants are so eager to invest in cryptocurrency?

They are chomping at the bit-coin


83) What type of market exists when an investor loses their shirt from their trades?

A bare market


84) What did the accountant call their investment collection of highly valuable vinyl albums?

Financial Records


85) What happens when mortgage bankers take time to relax by themselves?

They get a loan time.


86) What type of debt do DJs use to buy turntables?

Revolving Credit


87) What is the top line on the income statement for cruise ship companies?

Sails


88) What shampoo do stock trading technical analysts use?

Head & Shoulders


89) Where do accountants for manufacturing companies go swimming?

Cost Pools


90) What is a popular entree for fixed asset accountants?

MACRS & Cheese


91) Where do auditors for airline companies store their workpapers?

In the cloud


92) What type of option do investors prefer when trading telecommunication company stocks?

Call Options


93) Why was it hard for the scissor manufacturer to fund capital expenditures?

The budget kept getting cut.


94) What happens when financial statements are left on the runway of a fashion show?

Financial Modeling


95) What do party stores have to pay at the end of their loans?

Balloon payments


96) What happened when water spilled on the investor’s earnings statement?

Diluted earnings


97) What report do accountants for law firms update often?

Trial Balance Report


98) What is something accountants have an easier time explaining on their resume?

Accountants can easily explain the GAAP in their resume.





99) What is the ultimate party anthem for accountants?

FIFO Your Right to Party


100) What do the accountants of today owe the accountants that paved the way for them?

A Debit of Gratitude


101) How did accountants overcome arguments about blockchain?

They hashed out any differences.


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